Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

I just got back from an excellent 2-week trek across the UK, and I thought I'd share my thoughts about the cities I visited in a fairly organized manner. For each city I visited, I will list the best and worst things about it. Coincidentally, I've also started watching some British trash television, including a show called "Snog, Marry, Avoid," and I will be assigning one of these three judgments to each city I present. (Snog = kiss/make-out, for you non-Brits.)

First off, Scotland, and more specifically, Edinburgh!

Let there be no mistake: I love Edinburgh. I think it's my new favorite city. I had consistently seen this seat of Scottish Parliament as the Top City to Visit by many people's standards, but I just had no idea. Originally, I wasn't even planning on staying a full day there, so I'm quite happy I ended up making it a slightly longer stay! As it was, I could have stayed for a week and not been tired of looking around.

Best about Edinburgh: Where to begin... it's clean, the architecture is absolutely beautiful, the skyline when you walk to the city centre from the bus station is just stunning, the weather was a nice sunny/cloudy/sprinkling mix, stores are open on Sundays (!), the museums and Parliament are mostly all free to visit, the Leith River walkway is a lovely 12-mile stretch of walking path, the Caledonian Backpackers Hostel was fantastic, and THE CASTLE (enough said).

Worst about Edinburgh: That I can't just up and move there (thanks for nothing, EU).. also, you won't find too many unintelligble Scottish accents here.

Snog, marry, avoid? Marry, baby; this city is awesome!


Next up, Aberdeen.

Bleh, the City of Granite is not high on my list of places to re-visit, despite its having a nice Robert the Bruce statue.

Best about Aberdeen: seeing a pod of dolphins swim by at the beach on the North Sea, the cool Kordova Klub pub near the train station, proximity to Edinburgh (only 3 hours by coach)

Worst about Aberdeen: that everything's made of this gray, institutional-looking granite; every museum in the city is closed on Mondays (when I was there)

Snog, marry, avoid? I'd avoid Aberdeen. Sorry, this place was just gray and not much fun.


Final stop in Scotland: Inverness.

Inverness is a pretty nice little place. It was chilly and super-windy, but fortunately, I was prepared for a little northern weather in the Capital of the Highlands.

Best about Inverness: ceilidh bars with traditional music, cool travelers in the Student Hotel, nice bridges over the River Ness, Loch Ness, Culloden Battlefield, walking from the Battlefield to Clava Cairns and Milton of Clava, the castle near the city centre, lots of good restaurants, tons of whiskey distilleries (including the small Bendromach distillery; the Malt Whiskey Trail goes through the area), thick Scottish accents, rainbows everywhere (I saw on average one a day)!

Worst about Inverness: needing to take a bus/train to get to a lot of the good cultural stuff, though it wasn't too complicated or expensive, and the view was nice; the damp chill and high winds that kept me somewhat chilled the whole time, especially when I didn't dry my hair after showering one morning

Snog, marry, avoid? Snog and maybe marry. Inverness seems pretty nice, though I don't know what it would be like to live there. I'd probably spend more time in the Highlands than in Inverness, quite frankly.


As for the title of this post, "No one attacks me with impunity" is the motto of Scotland, and it's written in many places: over the doorway of the Edinburgh castle, on coats of arms, and even in one of the holy chapels in Edinburgh! Fun fact.

Stop and Stare

No sooner had I stepped through Customs in the Zurich airport when I felt the renewed presence of the Staring. Having been in the UK for 2 weeks, I had mostly flown under the radar in crowds, never feeling like I was being scrutinized and examined by strangers. But once back in my Swiss train station, I could feel the eyes following me. Granted, at the time I looked like I was traveling in from Scandinavia, comparing my backpack, jeans, and two jacket layers to the Daisy Dukes and spaghetti strap camisole a nearby girl eating an ice cream cone was wearing. However, I quickly adjusted my wardrobe to the weather here (which feels simply tropical compared to Inverness, Scotland), and the staring continues days later.

Contrary to some belief, it's not just young guys staring. In fact, in terms of gender, staring seems to be an equal-opportunity profession. Sometimes it's older people, no doubt checking out the younger generation and shaking their head sadly as they think back fondly on the Good Ol' Days of their youth; if they hear me speak English and they're particularly right-wing, maybe they even harbor some ill-will towards me and all the other foreigners who've flocked to Switzerland in recent years. Sometimes those staring are young, and the most off-putting things is that I'm not quite sure why they're staring. When I feel the heat of so many eyes on me, I don't know if it's good attention or bad attention, so I go through a quick checklist: do I have on pants? A shirt? .. Yes on both counts? Well, that's pretty much the whole checklist, so I remain stumped.

Other English and American expats in Switzerland have noted this baffling phenomenon as well and offered different theories about it, but I guess regardless of the reasons behind being stared at, good or bad, we should just enjoy the attention... and maybe practice making faces at people and freaking out the Starers.

In the Shadow of the Matterhorn

Words can't really do justice to the Matterhorn. It's simply striking and even somewhat creepy at night when its dark outline is still visible against the twilight sky. Pictures can't fully do it justice either, but that doesn't mean I didn't try by taking about 50 pictures of the Matterhorn in its different phases of cloud cover.

Zermatt is mostly closed between the winter and summer seasons; it's very bizarre seeing a town full of grand 5 star hotels and restaurants that are simply closed down for the next 2 months. Unfortunately, it's still very snowy on the mountain peaks, so the hiking trails to the Schwarzsee and Hoernli Hut (base station where the mountaineers start their climb) were closed off, which was quite disappointing. On the other hand, it was great not to have the town and paths swarming with tourists, so I guess it was a fair tradeoff.

There's a graveyard outside the main church dedicated to those who have died on the surrounding mountains. Most of them were male and between the ages of 17 and 27 (surprise, surprise). Of course, maybe they made the initial mistake of trying Gusti's Viper poison in the village of Zmutt.

Also, only in Switzerland will you be on a tough uphill Wanderweg hiking path and suddenly run into a mom pushing a stroller with 2 kids alongside her.

Tour de Southern Deutschland (Minus the Bike)

I've been stressing myself out for the past week over my job hunt and my upcoming trip to England that I just planned last night (and leave for this evening). So this post is going to be a slightly lazier one, pictures of a few highlights with a little description.

Southern Germany is awesome. Fuessen is the best little hidden gem Bavaria has to offer, holding both the Forggensee (which dries up to a stream in winter time, that you can throw bicycles into if that's your thing) and Castle Neuschwanstein. The LA Hostel is pretty cool too, with lots of interesting and eccentric travelers, and the train ride from Fuessen to Munich is gorgeous.

Also in Bavaria is the Koenigssee, the Dear Leader's favorite vacation-ing area, not without good reason. It boasts the "most drinkable" water in Germany (though I wouldn't drink it.. there are tons of boats and stuff that go through all the time) and the (debateably) highest waterfall in Germany, the Roethbach.

When it's nice out, crazy people surf in the Munich English Garden. It's great to see the good ones and even better to see the wipe-outs.

Stuttgart has a great zoo, complete with a Peacock Guard patrol; the birds work together and protect each other from annoying little kids that chase them.

It also seems to have its own Angry Bird, starved for attention and biting its cage, possibly wanting to bite me even though I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything to offend it.

Then I almost bricked my phone, so I don't have any pictures of Tuebingen's castle. The phone is okay now, but alas, I have no pictures of the great view of Tuebingen and the Albs (not the Alps).

Brescia: A Lackluster Finale

After being dragged away from Venice, the final stop on the tour was Brescia. Brescia on the whole is a normal Italian city, which means it kind of sucks for tourists yet somehow still managed to have some aggressive flower- and badly-copied-CD-salesmen. To its benefit, it does have a grand castle on the hill where you can easily spend a few hours wandering, enjoying the views, or lazing about on the grass. And its Santa Maria delle Grazie with its accompanying sanctuary and courtyard easily beats the pants off the more hyped Duomo.

Overall, Italy had good food, nice weather, non-sucky trains, and non-disgusting cities. It far surpassed my expectations, and I completely understand the expats who lasso themselves old, wonderful houses and vineyards there. Hopefully sometime I'll get to make it to Rome!

Venice: Where the Streets (Sometimes) Have No Name

Proxima fermata on my Italy trip was Venice. What can I say, except that I love Venice. I don't love all the little salesmen trying to hawk roses, fake Gucci bags, or light-up flying helicopter things, but I do love the absence of cars, the crazy winding streets, and the old stone buildings.

Contrary to popular belief, Venice doesn't really smell. Sure, there were a few spots where the scent of sewer managed to waft its way out of the ground, but on the whole Venice just smelled like a city (although it might have helped that I was there in spring and not summer and also that there hadn't been any recent garbage worker strikes).

Venice has its own tower, which I didn't pay to go up in, the royal Palazzo Ducale, and the Basilica of San Marco, which is absolutely incredible, covered in gold paint and tile mosaics. (Oh, and also free. Take a lesson, Verona.)

I wouldn't have minded too much getting lost in the streets of Venice and never making it to the train station. After all, there's no being-emo allowed in the Piazza San Marco, and anywhere with that as a rule can't be too bad.

... Where We Lay Our Scene

The rumors are true: trains traveling between Switzerland and Italy really do break down the second they reach the Italian border. Possible scenario for the commuter returning to Switzerland after a week's trip in Italy: your replacement Italian train will show up 20 minutes late, covered in graffiti, and with no working air conditioning. Since Switzerland is so keen on keeping its trains running according to a tight schedule, that super-late train you're on might be required elsewhere, so instead of taking you to your promised final destination, you get dumped off at Arth-Goldau and are expected to wind your way back to Zurich via Zug (the place) and Zug (train). Actual experiences may differ.

Speaking of "differing," never trust Kayak to show you an accurate depiction of the location of a hotel you're booking. I accidentally ended up staying in a 4-star hotel about 10 kilometers southwest of Verona in a little town called Azzano, which incidentally has a pizzeria with the best 4-cheese pizza I've ever tasted as well as some mafia-looking houses surrounded by razor wire. Getting from Azzano to Verona and vice versa was easily accomplished with the Verona area bus system, but the only catch is that the stop names are neither announced nor shown on the electronic signboards (which are forever plastered with the message "Buon viaggio"), so you have to do a little homework beforehand to know when you should expect your stop. (You can ask the busdriver, but he might drop you off about a mile away from where you actually wanted to go.)

I was a little worried that Verona would end up being pretty lame, but I really enjoyed it. Verona has a nice mix of tourists and locals. As it's home to the renowned Shakespeare play, most of the school children and tourists swarmed over to the Casa di Giulietta, but it was easy enough to avoid that location. The Torre dei Lamberti belltower provides a great view over the city and has the added bonus that you can go deaf on either of two different platforms within it when the clocks strikes noon! Neary by the Torre is the Piazza delle Erbe, which is a nice place to stroll through when it's not overcrowded for lunch.

Across the river is the Teatro Romano, perched on the hillside, which also provides a nice view over the city and houses the old theatre ruins and sculptures. The only real disappointment in Verona was that all the churches charge money for admission. Having seen lots of awe-inspiring cathedrals in Bavaria and Austria for free, I couldn't find it in my heart to cough up money to go into the Sant'Anastasia or the Duomo. Plus, there were plenty of interesting sights to see outside, like this artsy lump of locks on a bridge.